Today is a good day, for no particular reason.
I have this new philosophy that happiness is a choice. There are always going to be hardships and trials and difficulties, but the true test of character is finding joy and gratefulness in spite of, and even because of, those things.
The future is an uncertain thing, especially now, but i have plenty to rely on and plenty to be thankful for.
I've always been proud that I made it through an unplanned pregnancy and went from having nothing to owning a home and being self-sufficient, but the truth is that I have had so much help and kindness along the way.
Right now I feel at peace with my life but I know I have challenges to face. I need to overcome these moments of hatefulness and anger towards him. i need to continually accept that my life has changed and my plans have changed after having a child. I need to remember to be grateful for the things I have and not take them for granted. I need to start thinking of others more often.
I have plenty of self improvement to do. I also need to accept that fact that I might always be "alone" and I want to be ok with that. If someone wonderful comes into my life, I will count myself lucky, but I'm not going to live for that hope. Right now, this is enough. My house, my nat, my family, my job and tasting life's goodness as fully as I can.