It's come down to this: frantic web searches on trips to Scotland at a quarter to midnight and this pile of things in the middle of the living room floor.
Hats and shirts and battery chargers and a coffee mug. All these odd collected bits that seep into your life from someone else's and that you didn't really know were there until you had to get rid of the memories.
This loneliness is so bitter and powerful. It devastates me. And when you are in a relationship that leaves you lonely, surely it must be time to gather the memories and shed them.
I just don't know how I'll survive with my soul intact. This ending of relationships is not for me. I wanted a bond, a connection of our two lives into one family. Instead, I have this. A house with dark windows. A bed that is empty.
I spent three years waiting and hoping and those three years simply left me older and emptier.
I have to believe that maybe I can still have happiness, that it's not too late.
No comments:
Post a Comment